A Good Marriage

8 Feb

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A good marriage is one that facilitates personal growth. It is important to continuously grow through-out your life and seeing as marriage is the merger of lives, it should be a fertile ground for growth. Growth is not always easy so when choosing a partner, it is important to choose a person with whom you share mutual respect.

Marriage holds up a mirror to who you are (the great, good, bad and ugly) more than anything or anyone has ever done before. This is not a necessarily bad thing, remember, growth is an essential aspect of a life well lived. Your partner, ‘the mirror holder’, should do so in a loving manner. It is imperative you return the favour. Clear up for yourself that neither of you is perfect and that there will be disagreements. This is not a cue for you to sit down, stop communicating and expect him to read your mind. Push through the discomfort of confrontation and express yourself! You will not survive a stifling union.

If you are not able to communicate openly and honestly, reconsider getting married and go for some sort of couples therapy first. A pre-marital course, no matter how long you have been together is well worth your time. It is the basis on which you map the road of your marriage. Pre-marital counseling kick-starts your marriage dialogue by facilitating a conversation between you about key aspects of life together. I would not skip this step. Whislt love is certainly important in marriage, it is not enough to sustain a happy one. The reality is, there are tools you need to have in order to do this right. Seek guidance, you will be happy you did. The importance of the right way to communicate cannot be stressed enough, yet irreconsible differences occur everyday. Let’s get talking people. We need to listen and be heard but we need to know HOW to do this. Talk about it all. In-laws, finances past, present and future. Discuss your hopes, dreams, fears and visions for your lives individually and as a family. Talk about family, children, in-laws, holidays and special occasions.

If you’re already married, get the dialogue going, mindful that all you do should be done in love. It’s not too late to pick up the ‘communication tool-box’

Do yourselves a favour and lay it all out there. You’ll enter your marriage with more ease and conduct it with more confidence. A good marriage is based on good communication.

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